“I was bullied at school and it didn’t do me any harm”
The above statement is often said aggressively as if the person is still ashamed. They may have forgotten the pain they suffered as a child or teen. Bullying is NEVER a good thing: it is always damaging, both for the target and for the bully. Friends and relatives may say some of the following things about the bullying. They mean well but are wrong!

“He’ll just have to learn to stand up for himself”
Children who tell about bullying have usually reached the end of their rope. If they could have dealt with the bullying, they would have. Remember bullying occurs due to an imbalance of power. Asking for support is not weakness but a recognition that they cannot cope with the situation on their own.

“Tell him to hit back – harder”
Bullies are often bigger than their targets so the target could get seriously hurt by ‘hitting back’. Hitting back reinforces the idea that violence and aggression are acceptable. Additionally, it may cause the target to receive consequences at school and even legal consequences.

“It’s character- building”
The sort of character it builds is not the sort of character most parents want for their children. Bullying can damage the target’s self-esteem and can make them reserved and distrustful.

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you”
Bruises left by blows fade and heal but the scars left by name-calling can last forever. An 84-year-old man wrote and told us: “I can remember every word those bullies said. I’ve been hearing their bullying jeers all my life”.

“That’s not bullying! It’s just kids teasing”
Teasing is one thing but when it gets out of hand it can turn into vicious taunting. Once teasing begins to hurt the target it is no longer “ for fun” and should be stopped.
Revised from Kidscape: Preventing Bullying -

A Parent’s Guide, London UK